Ok here's my AU fic:

Title:At least their Certified.
Rating:For stupidty- PG.
Warnings:Extreme Cracked bad humor.
Summary:Joachim is a landlord recently released from Jail for GBH charges. He's trying to re-build his life but finds his tenants are going to make that some what of a challenege. Not to mention is cracked up Giglo Cousin who's decided to bug him now to.
Disclaimer:I don't know any of these people.

Here's like a brief list of the Characters and what they do-just to give some structure to this idea.



Jens Lehmann
A strange mourge owner, who enjoys his job a little to much. According to his records he either started a legitimate business or went to Jail for cencorsed activities from his old football playing days.
Conny Lehmann
Co-Owner of 'Lehmann's Mourges' she's down to earth but her strange humor sometimes can make the odd visitor feel slightly uncomfartable. Her excuse - if we were strange we'd be the second Todd Sweeny's.

David Odonker
A Rising Maifoso who doesn't seem half as dangerous as his girlfriend but still is very feared. Trying to find a new cash flow - obviously a new type of pimping should do it - right?
The Don Su-zan
The Mafioso behind the operations, she's very feared and has no rivals or dislikes for people. Well except Olli, who's late night poetry readings are starting to irratate her.

Olli (oliver kahn)K
After a very violent spell and lots of time in Anger Managment, he's been forced to find a way to relax himself - that or he's going to be continously stalked by the rehab worker. So he's decided to become a Poet and try and gain fame that way.
Verena Kerth
A "back-alley shop assitant" - and struggling GF of Olli K -definatly ever since she's found out there was a reason why his previous wife recently left him.

Michi Ballack
A successful Pimp who's trying to find new clients. After his friend Don-Odonkor makes him offer to bring in loads of cash with a new type of pimping, Michi is totally with the idea.
Simone Ballack
Mrs. Pimpess, she's just as dangerous as her man, but prefers living their life in luxury. Good friends with everyone but seems to enjoy messing around with the landlord.

Bastian Schweini
A young adult who somehow manages to always have enough money & energy to act like he's always on a -spanish holiday-?
Dani Schweini
A aspiring Miss Munich - she's the on & off GF of Bastian, with her own goals. And those start with her motto - one apartment a time.

Lukas Poldi
A hard working rapper- trying to make polish rap 'kool'.
Monika Poldi
Young wife of Lukas and a sales assitant for a recycled tofu store. Hardly speaks German but can fluently speak - Chinese, Russian, Italian, Japanese, English, Spanish, Punjabi & Welsh.

Miroslav Klose
Police customs officer who does his dedicated work as managing the Drugs/narcotics department with his wife Sylwia.
Sylwia Klose
Is a police Narcotics tester who takes her job very serious - dangit she's even certified.

Torsten Frings
He's a paid bully working for Timo. He takes his job seriously and will perform any acts or small rule violation - from stepping on grass when your not supposed-all the way to playing loud music 10 minutes after curfew. It's a hard job but somebody's got to do it.
Petra Frings
A paid arsenst, she's been setting fire to buildings since she's 3 years old and is apparently set off by the song - Automatic High - by S Club Juniors. She works for Thomas.

Timo Hildebrand
A professional Nerdy computer programmer that works for Michi. To work in a stress free eviroment he's hired Torsten to bully the kids that make fun of him in his neighbourhood.
Thomas Hitze
A fellow colleague of Timo, he prefers getting revenge from setting random objects alight, just he's to scared to do and has hired Petra. He loves his GF Inga very much and when Petra has paid him enough for hiring her and covering all her crimes up - he's gonna use it to fly Inga to Liechenstein to purpose to her.
Inga Hitze
GF of Thomas and fellow work colleague.

Bernd Schneider
Light hearted fellow rival of Torsten he's also a hired bully, who actually appears to be just doing it more for fun and living off his nerdy GF Carina.
Carina Schneider
A nerdo (in desparate need of a life) council adminstator who makes it her mission to crack down on crime - aka. People swimming in the lake when they shouldn't - it is a crime after all.

Timbo Borowski
Sports Commentator for Second League Darts competition. He's detremined to put the second league on the map.
Lena Borowski
A aspiring Mafioso she regulary tags along with Su-zan to learn from her and also learn how extingush her bitter rival Nicola.

Fips Lahm
Is a dedicated mall worker- everytime there is a major public holiday is the one who will don the traditional custome to keep the kids happy - easter bunny suit etc...
Nicola Lahm
GF of Fips, she's also a aspiring mafioso and the bitter rival of Lena.


Enjoy the character and if you could please leave a comment with your favorite character/couple so I will definatly include them seeing as I can't keep all of them - but I can't do the painful task of cutting them off myself XD.

++ Also please excuse my cracked bad humor and don't take this too serious XD.

When all the characters have been picked, I'll probably right down how all of them where inspired- won't do it now cause there's already tonnes written here.

++ Another thing, the final characters will be posted with pictures :3 .